My 2008 "Bucket List"

Well, 2007 is nearing the end. This year flew by at times, yet moved in slow motion at others. I had my one-year-relocation-cost-commitment with my company looming over me. When 7-31-07 arrived I celebrated. No more anxiety over having to pay back my company the cost of relocating me here if things didn't pan out with the job. I served my time, and I was finally free.

I grew a lot this past year. I mean, I think we all grow and evolve constantly as individuals, but for me, this past year especially. Not to toot my own horn, but a dear friend recently complimented me by saying that I am "brave" and that I just keep "trying things out until they fit." I moved to this new city solely for a job. I didn't know a single person living here. I had a handful of names and email addresses to contact once I arrived, but honestly, I took a giant leap of faith. I'm such a creature whom thrives from being surrounded by my family and my most favorite people. I am stimulated by my surroundings and the environment. Truthfully, moving to a new city for my career was out of character. It's never been about my career. That actually ranks low on my priority list.

I gained more perspective this year, and am so thankful for my many blessings. I finally let go of someone that I thought would always be a part of my life. I came to terms with the reality of our situation, and I healed on my own, even without closure. I even managed to find a new crush, and feel something good again. I am thankful for the experience and from the lesson learned. I also had the best birthday party of my life. My 30-60 party that I shared with my father. It was a kick'n good time, celebrating with my most favorite people all in one place. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful family and amazing friendships. On a more somber note, I lost my nana this year. I know we all lose loved ones, and grandparents naturally pass on first, but she was my last living grandparent. It almost felt like an end of an era.

Why is it that at the end of every year we stop and evaluate where we are, who we are, and what we're hopeful for in the new year ahead? We make new years resolutions. We reach out to old friends if we've allowed time and distance to get in the way. We try to mend relationships and form bridges to let people in.

I've decided not to make a resolution this year. In past, I've tried to exercise more frequently, eat healthier, be a better pen-pal, see my parents more often, stop drinking soda, and vowel to take more trips. I feel like I am currently doing these things so instead I'm making a "Bucket List." I stole that idea from a movie that's being released soon. I'm creating a list of things I want to do and experience in 2008.

With that, here's my Bucket List:

1. Take trips because I want to (not b/c I feel obligated). Maybe even go to Europe (I haven't been back since 1999)

2. Work on my photography portfolio

3. Move to a new city because I want to live there (not b/c of the job opportunity)

4. Fall in love with the right person

5. Write a business plan for my card company (stop buying cards and start creating my own line)

6. Listen to NPR more frequently

7. Read more intelligent books, read less fluff

8. Visit my beloved city, San Francisco, more frequently no matter how much it costs

9. Become a better cook and learn my mother's secret Italian recipes. Make my pasta noodles from scratch.

10. Write and actually submit my work

11. Pay off my Visa credit card bill

12. Volunteer at an Assisted Living facility

Every new year is a gift and a chance to do better. Here's to "trying things out until they fit" in 2008!

Fall is Here

It's been a long time since I've blogged. It's becoming the thing to do. I keep getting sent links from friends to check out their latest blog entry. People blog about all sorts of things...i.e. building a house, being preggers or traveling overseas! I've kept my blog a secret for months..... someone might discover my random thoughts soon :-)

Fall has officially set in here in random NC. I took a bunch of pics during my stroll through my neighborhood this morning. The leaves are changing. I love this time of year. I'm looking forward to the upcoming holidays, going home and spending time with my family and old friends. It has been 6 months since I've been home.

Things I'm thankful for this year:

1. My family - everyone has their health and we're all able to celebrate the upcoming holidays together

2. My new job - I'm FINALLY breaking out of media!!!!

3. I'm over the one-year hump in my new zip code and this place has completely grown on me!

Alright, I'm signing off. I've got an early Monday morning meeting tomorrow. I'll try to be a better blogger... now that everyone is doing it!!! I've gotta keep up w/ the rest of them.

Spring Fever

I forgot how much I enjoyed spring time. Tis the season - it has officially arrived. There's something about sunshine, warmth and daylight-savings that puts me in a good mood. I can hear the birds chirping outside this morning, as I drink my morning coffee and type. I'm gearing up for my a.m. walk, but currently waiting on my new shuffle to charge.

I had dinner last night with an extremely diverse group of women. The ages ranged from mid-20's to mid-50's. I happened to sit next to the most eccentric one in the group. She exuded such positive energy, and had quite a spiritual aura about her. I envy her, as she just quit corporate america and is pursuing her true passion of Feng Shui. She's proof that it's never too late to pursue your true passion in life, and make it your livelihood.

Manifest positive energy. She kept repeating those words to me. There's been all this hype about The Secret lately. Have you heard of this philosophy? I haven't watched the dvd yet (my aunt sent me a copy), but I've been told The Secret transforms lives - if you choose to live it. My new friend referenced The Secret as well. I guess I better figure out how to hook up my dvd player and watch this soon. I do believe in it though, to some extent. If you exude positive energy - I think the universe will give it back to you. My new friend spoke of my "Saturn return" ending, and that I'm now approaching my Power Year. I had heard of the Saturn return prior to last nights dinner conversation, as I accredit that theory as being one of the influences that led me back east last year. But I wasn't familiar with my power year approaching.

On that note, I've got Spring Fever, and the sunshine awaits me. Maybe I'll Feng Shui my apartment in honor of my newfound friend, and to welcome my Power Year!

What a Difference a Year Makes

Remember Bob Guiney, a.k.a. "America's favorite ex-Bachelor"? He somehow managed to publish a book that proves sometimes unexpected setbacks can lead to unexpected joys. That old cliche comes to mind, what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger.

I believe we continue to grow, improve and evolve as time continues on. I've found that life throws us constant obstacles, but it's the process of understanding them, and getting around them that help us evolve.

I took 5 months off this past year. I'm not certain I've really ever owned up to that on paper (or digital space in this case). I reference my "mini-sabbatical" often, but I never admit the actual length of time. I've been gone from SF for almost one year. It will be official in 10 days. Granted I left on my own will, but I left the one place I'd always dreamt of living because life became stagnant. I was stuck in a crappy job situation (although it appeared desirable to outsiders). Instead of changing jobs, I thought changing my zip code was necessary. I was more excited about going throw the actual motions of leaving (going away parties, cross-country drive w/ my best friend). And I was eagerly looking forward to some time off and spending it with my family. I thought I was moving towards something better and headed in the right direction.

Going home was filled with all sorts of mixed emotions and incessant questions. I couldn't even go to the grocery store without running into an old familiar face. I've learned a lot about myself in this past year, and faced some demons head-on, yet some things I still need to face, as keeping silent and holding things inside haven't necessarily healed my heart.

I've learned that you can watch time passing, knowing it is going, and still not be able to do a thing about it. I've learned that my parents very often end up being right about the important things, and that sometimes it is hard to hear the most truthful things about ourselves. I've learned that king size Butterfingers can mend a broken heart. I've found that being vulnerable, although frightening, can be quite liberating and necessary. I've learned if we let people take advantage of us once, we've opened the door for them to do it again. I've learned that spending time with your nana is invaluable. I've learned that wearing a motorcycle helmet is a must. I've learned that being a tan, unemployed hippie ain't so bad in tropical paradise.

I've learned that doors open for reasons, it's what you do with the opportunities inside that shape you. I've learned to thank God for unanswered prayers. I've learned that life leads us to different places, but true friendship always remains. I've learned that I am capable of landing in an unfamiliar town, and finding my way. I've learned that receiving a card in the mail from a dear friend can make my day. I've learned that one of the ultimate tests of being human is to be able to wish someone else well, even when they have hurt you. I've learned that drinking a good bottle of Pinot Noir with my mom constitutes a perfect Saturday night.

Most importantly, I've learned to laugh at myself. I've learned to not overlook life's small joys while searching for the big ones. I've learned not to be such a perfect girl. I've discovered you're never too old to just come home for a few months and rejuvenate.

Survey Says:

1. Hi, my name is: Goof
2. Never in my life have I: Given up on the happy-ending.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts is: Tough love can drive me nuts.
4. High school: Was 11 years ago- holy crap!
5. When I'm nervous: I act goofy.
6. The last time I cried was: yesterday
7. If I were to get married right now, my wedding party would be: There would be plenty of bourbon so everyone would have a kick'n good time.
8. My hair is: the longest it has been in years
9. When I was 6: I loved playing Barbies and twirling in my ballet class. Life was so simple then.
10. Last Christmas:"I gave you my heart, the very next day, you gave it awaaaaaaayyyy......"
11. I should be: Content. But I'm not.
12. When I look down I see: my keyboard.
13. The craziest recent event was: Another small world discovery. Damn Pittsburgh connections.
14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be: Rachel.
15. By this time next year: I'll hopefully have figured things out.
16. My current gripe is: I left my heart in SF.
17. I have a hard time understanding: Physics. And selfish people's lack of regard for others, especially when they claim to have cared about you.
18. There's this guy I know who: is tall, witty and handsome.
19. You know I like you when: I invite you over for baked ziti.
20. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Jessie.
21. Take my advice: Being vulnerable is scary, but some times it is necessary.
22. My most wanted item is: At the moment, a career I am passionate about.
23. If you visited the place I was born: Small, inter-coastal beach town
24. Love is: a gift.
25. If you spend the night at my house: We'd drink lots of red wine, and I'd bust out the "Flamingo" dance routine
26. I'd stop my wedding if: I was offered a substantial cash settlement to elope.
27. The world could do without: Ignorant people.
28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: No. I would NOT rather lick the belly of a cockroach.
29. Most recent thing I've bought myself: Photography classes
30. Most recent thing someone else bought me: My dad bought be a beautiful bracelet and earrings for Christmas.
31. My favorite blonde is: my sister. blonde vixen.
32. My favorite brunette: So glad I stopped highlighting my hair.
33. My favorite redhead is: RR
34. My middle name is: Anne (w/ an "e")
35. This morning I: had the Monday a.m. blues
36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: Unicorns.
37. Once, at a bar: I drank TUACA.
38. Last night I was: sleeping.
39. Would you rather die in a car accident or plane: Neither.
40. A better name for me would be: I like my name.
41. Tomorrow I am: Going to go to work and then go to my photography class
42. My birthday is: June 21st
43. What I really want for Valentine's Day is: to have a good day.

the Mrs. Doubtfire house

I fear I may be suffering from the Sunday blues. I just spent the past two hours walking aimlessly around downtown, trying to take pictures for my photography class. Touring downtown by foot, with a camera around my neck was an open invitation for bums and weirdos to talk to me. I even managed to lure two building security guards away from their post. They came outside in the cold to inform me that I wasn't allowed to photograph the Hearst building. Post 9/11 you're evidently not allowed to take pictures of the two tall buildings in downtown.

It's nights like this that I wish I still lived in my beloved city. I would have plenty of photo opportunities in any given neighborhood. The Victorians, the hills, the cable cars, the parks, the bay, the GG bridge, the Embarcadero, Lombard Street, the ferry building, the Mrs. Doubtfire House. My list could go on and on. I have album upon album of scenic pictures of my beloved city. Even when I lived there, I acted like a Japanese tourist. I guess I knew I wouldn't live there forever, and always wanted to capture its beauty.

I'm starting to think maybe you have to leave a place, to realize where you want to be. I'm definitely suffering from the Sunday blues.

Snow Day

There's something to be said about being instructed by your company to "work" from home due to weather conditions. It's my first official "snow day." It might be the first day I do not miss San Francisco either. I awakened at 6:30am to snow falling from the dark sky. I've seen snow before, but I've never technically lived in a city where snow hinders your ability to arrive to work on time. My boss sent me a text message (there we go again with relying on EM technology for communication) stating "it's snowing, looks like we're working from home." It's almost noon, and I'm still in my pjs. If only I could work from home every day.

Emerging Media

This phenomena of emerging media - email, text messaging, blogging, Myspace, YouTube, Google earth. I'm a little slow catching on, but a dear friend sent me a link recently to a college acquaintance's blog site, and just like that - I'm hooked. Bizarre concept if you ask me. Allowing perfect strangers to read your most personal thoughts. I felt almost like I was intruding, but there was something about his story-telling skills that kept me coming back. His blogs were random and entertaining. I started checking in once a week to see what drama he was rehashing. I guess his skills inspired me to attempt to streamline my own inter-monologue of thoughts. I'll admit I keep a journal, but I've never shared my randomness with strangers. Who knows if anyone will ever read these marvels or if I'll ever choose to share this with my friends? For now this may best serve as some type of theraputic release. I just moved to a new city, and left behind a life I'm having trouble letting go of. I thought I was ready to return back to the east coast, and be closer to my family and old friends. But I've come to realize that home isn't home to me anymore, and starting over - is just plain hard.